I have been learning to:
- use a large productive vocabulary across the curriculum (Year 9/10)
- Use a wide range of punctuation appropriately and with increasing accuracy. (Year 9/10)
The pieces of my writing that are highlighted green are where I have shown my vocabulary and punctuation goal
My Story...It seemed like a nice and sunny day in Sector 4 of the great Apple city, until the main office building of bean street exploded in a massive ball of fire!! And of course the great Super-Apple new it must of been the Super Evil Villain Rotten Apple!!! So of course Super-Apple rushed down to the ruble to see if he could find the person responsible for the destruction. But when he got he found no one, not even the body's of the people that should have been in the building. The only thing that he could find was a piece of paper with a bunch of words and a derpy picture. On the piece of paper it said “meet me at the back alley on sixth street”.
He arrived at the alley to find that no one was there, but he did find a small box lying one of the corners, he picked it up and noticed that his name was written on it, so he opened it up and inside was a small vial with a weird green glowing liquid, there was a label tied to that said “drink meh plz” and for some reason he decided to drink it, at first he felt normal then he fell over and went to sleep. When he woke up he was back at his house lying on the floor, besides feeling a little sleepy he felt pretty normal until he stood up and froze his bedside table after sneezing, at first he thought that he must have been dreaming but soon realized that he was wide awake, and first thing that came to mind was that he needed to gain and master this “power”.
A year later he after mastering his new power, he discover that he could do more than freeze things. He could also fly as well as that he was super strong, and he could even shoot fire from his hands, and in that year he was able to somewhat master all of these powers, and now he thought that he was ready to hunt down Rotten-Apple.
He was in the sky searching for a trace of Rotten-Apple, and just when he was about to give up he spotted a massive trail of destruction that must have been caused by Rotten-Apple, so he followed the trail to the point where it ended, and it ended at a mountain. So stupidly he decided to destroy the mountain until he found something, and what he found was a hatch that was in front of the mountain, so basically he destroyed a mountain for no reason at all. And once he actually saw the hatch he flew straight down into what must have been a trap.
And as he soon found out it was a trap as he fell into a pit of quicksand, at first he thought that he was going to die, but then he remembered that he had acquired super powers so he just froze the quicksand and then broke out using his super strength then flew up to a door that he had seen on his way down to the pit. On the other side of the door was a massive circular room was a small round apple man, as Super Apple closed in on this mysterious man he realized that it was Rotten Apple! Now at this point Super Apple thought that it would be an easy flight now that he had powers, but what he didn't realize was that he wasn't the only one with powers….
“What took you so long?” Demanded Rotten-Apple, obviously annoyed by how long it took Super-Apple to find him. “Sorry, before I could get here I had to escape from one of your traps. No-not that I had any trouble escaping or anything like that.”said Super-Apple trying
(And failing) to hide the truth. “Well, anyway let the battle begin!” Announced Rotten-Apple, “ you seem pretty confident in yourself, but what you may not know, I have super powers.” Announced
Super-Apple feeling pretty cool about himself. “ I know, that's why I went ahead and gave myself my own, powers.” Said Rotten-Apple.
Annoyed at this statement Super-Apple Sprang into attack and froze Rotten-Apple, and that's when the battle finished, Because there was no way to break out of the ice, so the battle kind of finished before it started, and since then the people of sector 4 were able to rebuild the building that was blown up, and nothing else bad has happened.